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I Am Not Who I've Been
By Clyde E. Gumbs

 

I feel the past pervading me

Deep in my heart and mind

I say I want a future free

To leave the past behind

 

If I truly leave the past behind

What would there be to see

If the past does not my future shape

What could it really be

 

If I truly leave the past behind

How would I know how to be

If I did not have to the past to look to

How would I know who was me

 

If I truly leave the past behind

From old pain and judgments free

If I allowed my wounds to heal

Would I have to punish you and me

 

If I truly leave the past behind

Surrender all inauthenticity

If I was not stuck in old illusions

Would I need be anyone but me

 

The identity I’ve had must die

For me to be reborn again

Who I’ve thought I’ve always been

I would bury there and then

 

I’d no longer always use the past

To tell me who I am

To be the me I thought I was

Would be but an empty sham

 

I’d no longer always use the past

To tell me what to think and feel

I’d surrender old bankrupt beliefs

Retain what for my soul was real

 

Imagine a future free from past

A future truly free

An inspired and inspiring life

The me that I was born to be

 

The caterpillar has no fear

In transformation then to die

But when it is reborn again

It is a lovely butterfly

 

Only after transforming death

Not before and only then

Will it be plain for all to see

I am not who I’ve been

 
 
 
 
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